Thursday, January 21, 2010

Holy Shit

First of all...bad Moplumsy. Very bad Moplumsy. Bad Moplumsy for never blogging ever. I suck at blogging, I know.

That said, I totally had my brains blown out today and I'd like to share.

This week is finals week, and the kids are taking exams. All in all, it's pretty boring. We sit in the classroom for two periods of about an hour and a half and watch the kids while they take their tests. No talking allowed. After they're done, they draw on the backs of their tests.

Enter Dave. Dave is a fifth grader, and an amazing artist. He is constantly decorating things with dragons, monsters, tigers, etc. Today, however, he decided to draw this:

Yep. That's a world map. Drawn from his motherfucking memory.

Kid drew this in like 10 minutes without looking at any sort of visual reference. Knowing this, check out central America. Check out Europe. Check out Africa. Check out the positioning of the equator, and relative sizes and positions of the countries. And before you say something stupid like, "But Bolivia is landlocked and the equator goes through southern Somalia," fuck you. Dave's a fifth grader who can draw a world map from his brain with 85% accuracy. You, on the other hand, are a retard. If this were my kid and I saw this, I'd immediately throw him into some kind of government super soldier spy program where he would learn to smuggle secrets out of dangerous places using only the power of his incredible photographic memory. Or enroll him in an art class (which he doesn't take).

Basically, the next time you're proud of a doodle, think of Dave and feel a little worse about yourself. I sure will.



Anonymous said...

Oh my freaking God. I miss Dave -- he always drew such amazing stuff in homeroom last year.

This, though? League of its own.

My God. How the hell.


Mr. Plum said...

Prior to the War of the Pacific, Bolivia actually claimed that exact spot for access to the sea. Maybe this kid was just looking at older maps. Political boarders change all the time...