How do you stuff a wild bikini?

After months reading up on the subject on the back of VHS boxes and more than 10 hours of intensive research half-asleep on my couch, I am of the opinion that if the Beach Party movies of the early 60s were to be re-released today, unedited, they would be create a unparallelled comedy breakout-hit phenomenon.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, the Beach Party series is a set of seven movie-musicals, most of which star pop icons Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello as a couple that makes very little sense. Titles are:

-Beach Party

-Muscle Beach Party

-Bikini Beach

-Pajama Party

-Beach Blanket Bingo

-How to Stuff a Wild Bikini

and The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini

And because I have friends with cool parents, I've had the privilige of seeing five of these fine films. Complimenting the basic plot (DeeDee saves hand-holding for marriage while Frankie is as much of a whore as one could get away with in the early 60s) are elements like extreme sports, magical creatures, slapstick biker gangs, rapists, and a woman who's so sexy that when she dances, her hips raze the laws of the natural world. Dualities that occur naturally on Earth, like actions/reactions and causes/effects for instance, don't necessarily work the same way in the Beach Party universe. Mostly, it's just one rip-roaring, half-naked, sun-bronzed and oiled, totally platonic and sponatneous good time after another. In the end, it all boils down to this: if you like technicolor and stupidly hot people, but aren't really into plot continuity or social sensitivity, check them out. After a while, I'm sure you'll be glad you did.